Shades of Envy
by MarionX
Summary: What would happen if Envy actually lived past the Promised Day? Edward and the military give Envy a second chance at life and he makes an honest effort to try on humanity. But as he gets swept away by human emotions, he comes across one that's hard to deal with. Love... (Post Brotherhood, Envy's POV, Ed/Envy)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This is my first fanfiction ever! Woo hoo! I've been lurking on this site for a while now and finally decided to leave my own mark. I've read a lot of Ed/Envy and found myself wishing for certain scenarios that I could never find. And thus, I present to you _Shades of Envy_, the combo of everything I've ever wished for! Yes it is yaoi. Don't like, don't read. The first few chapters are relatively tame, but I'm going to be picking it up after that. Also, expect mpreg. I'm putting everything my heart desires into this.

This is rated **M** for yaoi (obviously), mpreg, and strong language (I think Envy should have a more colorful vocabulary). All rights to _Fullmetal Alchemist_ go to the wonderful Hiromu Arakawa. I'm just playing with her characters and continuing the story.

But enough of this! On with the fic! Hope you enjoy! **~MarionX**

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**Chapter 1: Happiness**

How did it all end up like this? I've been alive for…I don't even remember how many centuries and have never felt something other than jealously and anger. Now, here I am, alive after the promised day with the burn of fucking human emotion in my chest. All of my siblings are dead, my father is dead, and here I am with the fucking Elric brothers. How did I get here again?

That's right. That lousy Colonel Mustang and his bitch were chasing me to my demise. What's her name again? Hawkeye? Yeah. They were hot on my tail, literally. I'd had my eyes evaporated, my tongue boiled, my skin burned to a crisp and as much as I wanted to live, the pain was excruciating enough that I kind of wished for my final death. I lay panting and drooling in that filthy underground tunnel, gazing up at the monster before me. I hardly felt like a killer anymore. Looking into the Colonel's eyes sent shivers down my spine. My stomach churned and I heaved dryly, as I hadn't eaten a bite of food in months. I was feeling something other than envy; I was feeling pure terror.

I screamed my throat raw as the Flame Bastard ignited me again and again and again. Blood oozed from every orifice and pore. In my hundreds of years of life, that is definitely the most painful moment I have ever lived. "Don't underestimate me you filthy _human_!" I yelled with acid, but I felt the philosophers stone inside of me burn away with my flesh, the thousands of souls that kept me alive screaming along with me. I had reached my limit. My humanoid form no longer regenerated and flaked away into ash.

"Fuck," I squeaked out, "No, not this again!"

My body completely disintegrated and my tiny, true form flopped uselessly on the dirty floor. Mustang laid his boot heavily on my spine and tears poured from my bulging eyes. "So this is what you _really_ look like? I get it," he said with malice, "You're ugly. You're jealous of others and jealousy is an ugly thing, just like you."

I squirmed in an attempt to free myself. It hurt! It fucking hurt! I whimpered and bawled by eyes out. "No. Please! No! I don't want to die! Please!"

That bastard just brought his foot down harder, taking all of the breath out of me. "I'm not giving you a choice! Now BURN IN HELL!" His fingers poised to snap me to my final death, blue sparks flying from his hand. My whole life began to flash before my eyes.

I really had lived a pointless life. What _had_ I done? When I thought about it I was purely a pawn for Father. I had no personal thoughts or actions, besides frivolous murder and sadism. I understand that I'm supposed to be the pure incarnation of the sin envy, but in that moment I felt an inkling of wanting. What were other emotions like? Surely I had felt some of them before without thinking. But being filled with emotion is a human thing and humans are fucking worthless pieces of shit. But nonetheless emotions flooded me in that moment of near death, and I realized something.

Deep down, _I_ was envious of humans.

If possible, more tears began to stream down my face and into my elongated mouth. I wished I were human. I wanted another chance at life. I wanted a chance to experience all of the emotions that humans could feel. But all I could do was close my eyes and wait to die.

Suddenly, with a spark of alchemic power, I was flung up and flying though the air. I screamed with what little voice I had left. Instead of landing on the filthy tunnel floor again I was gripped tight around my center by a gloved hand. With a pitiful squeak I glanced up at my savior only to see the little midget alchemist, Edward Elric. Confusion was quick to set in.

Mustang demanded that I be handed back to him and the pipsqueak's reply resounded though the hall, "No". I gazed back up at him in wonder. Why now? Why was he saving _me_, Envy? I had done so many things to make his life hell and yet he held onto me like his life depended on it.

Scar was with the pipsqueak as well and they began to lecture Mustang on his values and how hatred was consuming him. Blah blah blah. Hatred had consumed every waking moment of my life, what's wrong with it? But I listened on in confusion as the shorty, Scar, and Hawkeye talked Mustang down. Why was this happening? What were those emotions I was feeling?

I chose that moment of silence to voice my thoughts. "Are you all morons? Some flowery words and everything is resolved?! Are humans always such pathetic worms? What ever happened to listening to your gut? Doing what you wanted when you want it? You four are all beyond kissing and making up! Think about the things you've done to each other. You should despise one another! Now's the time! Kill and be killed! Grovel in the dirt!"

All four of the filthy humans stared at me in silence, looks of peace on their fucking faces. I also glimpsed looks of sympathy.

"No! NO! You can't! Never! NEVER! You can't be friends! What is this!?"

The pipsqueak looked me straight in the eye and calmly responded, "I think I get it now. You are jealous of humans Envy. You wish you had the capacity to love and be loved, because loved ones are always there to pick you back up. You wish you could have the capability to forgive and move on."

Horror struck me as he vocalized what I had silently been feeling inside. I was so ashamed! Embarrassed! _Me_, Envy the mighty homunculus, jealous of _humans_? The accusation stung because it was true.

I writhed in the shorty's grasp and bit down hard on his fingers in order to escape him. Flopping ungracefully to the ground tears poured from my eyes once more. "Damn it! DAMN IT! Of all the _fucking_ humans to see though me it _had_ to be you pipsqueak…"

I lay groveling on the floor. The embarrassment was too intense. I needed a way out. I knew one way.

I rolled back onto my back legs and began to reach for the philosopher's stone deep within my gut. For someone who lived as pointless a life as me, suicide was a fitting way to die.

"Goodbye everyone. Good luck with your future battles…goodbye Edward Elric. I don't deserve to live like this anymore…too much humiliation…I could never be human…"

Edward started as I said his full name for the first time ever. "Stop!" He yelled as he bounded forward and restrained my tiny arms from reaching any farther. He picked me up in his hand again and looked me dead in the eye. I was trembling from what I had almost done.

"So it's true then?" he asked, "You really do wish you were human?"

The look in his golden eyes was powerful. What was that emotion buried so deep? I had never noticed the expressiveness of his eyes.

"Are you saying you want to change Envy? That you are willing to change?"

Still trembling like a leaf, I gazed into those expressive golden eyes with my own violet ones. Fresh tears prickled at my eyelids. I did want to change. I wanted to live, to _really_ live. There was so much that I had never experienced, even after centuries of life. It took me a second, but I found my voice, "…yeah…I guess…"

Edward glanced at Mustang, who after an eternity of deep contemplation gave a short nod of approval. All eyes turned to Edward as he spoke again.

"Envy, I have never intentionally killed someone that I have fought with. I never would want to. And now, now that you're telling me that you want to change, I can't possibly allow anyone to kill you. Everyone deserves chance to change. Of course, I don't know how much I can trust you. You have been a bastard for as long as I've known you. Actually, you've been a bastard for hundreds of years. But, despite all that I'm willing to help you. I want to help you. Will you let me?"

I stared in wonder at the blond haired alchemist. He was giving me a chance? How? Why? I glanced over at Mustang, who was previously trying to incinerate me to death, and he gave me a smirk.

"It kills me to say it, but I agree with Fullmetal. Despite all you've done, you've shown a will to change and honestly you would be quite an asset to the military, that is if you're willing."

Warmth flooded my chest suddenly and it took me off guard. Was that really human emotion? I turned back to Edward and my long mouth quirked into a smirk. I croaked out an answer through the steady flow of tears, "Yes. Please…"

I curled in on myself, as the warm feeling grew stronger. An unintentional moan escaped my lips. "What is this?" I squeaked, "I'm burning inside, but I'm not in pain or dying!"

Edward chuckled slightly then replied, "Maybe you're feeling…relieved? Grateful? Maybe it's happiness?"

The last one resonated within me and I immediately knew what I was feeling.

"Yeah. I guess I am happy. I'm so very happy."

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**A/N:** Hope you liked it. I realize this chapter is almost directly from the original story, but I felt that I needed to give some context and build off of it for where I'm going. I will try to have the next chapter up soon. What will become of poor little Envy? You'll have to wait and see. ;)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Wow! I'm not going to lie, after I posted the first chapter of this all I could think about was how it was a stupid idea and that no one would like it. But to log in and see that I had ACTUAL reviews and followers...that just made my day. Thank you. :)

So, the story shall go on! Still no Edvy fluff yet, sorry. But it will come soon enough. We have to get Envy's hot bod back first, am I right?

Also, I do not own _Fullmetal Alchemist_ or any of the characters. Boo hoo...

But enough of that, here's the next chapter!

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**Chapter 2: Worry**

The remainder of the promised day wasn't too eventful for me. After we all came to the conclusion of giving me a second chance at a human life in the underground tunnel, I was handed off to Hawkeye. She carried me back up into central headquarters, holding me like I was going to eat her at any second. Truthfully, I could have. I should have. I could have just hijacked her body and regained my humanoid form. But, I felt oddly apathetic. I said I would change, so why not give it an honest effort?

She placed me in a jar and sealed it shut. There was a little straw that stuck out of the lid so I could breathe. "Don't try anything Envy," she told me, "We're really trying to give you a second chance here and if you so much as breathe funny you will be killed. I hope you understand the gravity of that."

She glanced around the small room for a second, looking for any signs of intruders, then turned swiftly back to me. "I have to return to the battle out there now and fight for all of our lives. You are going to stay here and when we have defeated your father someone will come back for you, understand?"

I nodded my little green head in agreement and watched as she strode out the door. I heard it lock behind her and her heavy footfalls fading down the hall.

And then began the waiting. God, it was so fucking boring! The most eventful thing that happened was my sudden death as Father pulled the plug. But that was short lived and I sprang right back to life with a jolt.

I thought about how someone must have really been giving Father a run for his money. My bets were on Edward Elric. That Fullmetal pipsqueak could really put up a fight. I would know. He'd killed or wounded me far too many times in the past. He always was so determined when it came to justice.

As I paced my jar, I began to feel the prickling of another emotion inside of me. It curdled in my stomach as the hours wore on, growing in power. Why was it taking so long? Was I going to get out of there and get my shot at life? Or was Father going to find me, mark me a traitor, and boil me alive like he did to Greed? The feeling in my stomach ate at me and I began to sweat.

The feeling was sort of familiar; it reminded me of when I was stuck in Gluttony with Edward and that Xingese kid. I was scared that I'd never get out then, but scared wasn't the right word for what I was feeling. It was like I didn't know what was going to happen next, like I had no control. I was…worried.

At that moment in the jar in Central headquarters, I was worried. I was worried that I'd never get out of there. I was worried I was going to die. I was worried about Edward Elric. He had saved me for fucks sake; I had a right to be worried about my savior.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence and worry, I was startled when I heard the door handle unlock and unlatch. It swung open to reveal some military guy. I think I saw him with Colonel Ponyboy and friends before. I could have cared less who the dumb ass was; I was free!

"Hey worm! I was thinking that no one was ever going to come for little old me. Will you get me out of the fucking jar? It's god damn cramped and stuffy in here!"

The military man looked thoughtful for a second, but then informed me that it would be up to Edward when I would be let out of the jar. Up to the midget alchemist? Ha! Since when was he my keeper? I accepted his help, not a contract for servitude.

I was taken (still in the shitty jar, which I made sure to give military guy an earful about) to the military hospital where I was promptly dropped in Edward Elric's lap. "For being a tiny defenseless bastard, that guy sure can be a pain in the ass. I hope you can teach him some manners Ed," said military guy. Edward chuckled in response, "Breda, do you seriously think I'm going to be able to teach Envy manners? He's _Envy_. He'll put up a fight to anything."

Disgruntled I spat up at them, "Yo! O'Chibi-san! I'm right here you dumb ass! Don't talk about me you worm!"

"There you go, the extent of his manners. Thanks again Breda," Edward waved as Breda left the room, seemingly glad to be rid of me. Good riddance to him too!

I then began to take in my surroundings. Edward sat in a chair next to a hospital bed. The blankets slowly rose and fell with the labored breathing of their inhabitant. A shock of dark blonde hair jutted out from the top of the blankets. Next, I took in the Chibi. He was thoroughly beaten up, but nothing too dire. But then I noticed the thing that seemed off. The little alchemist had two arms. Two arms! No automail!

"Pipsqueak! You have two arms! How the hell did that happen?"

Edward glared down at me. "Envy! I'm not a super mini-sized midget runt! You used my name earlier! Use it now! And from now on for that matter!"

I giggled at his childish outburst. How could I not call him midget, chibi, and pipsqueak? It was so fitting, because he _was_ a super mini-sized midget runt.

But I gave in. "Fine. EDWARD. How the fuck did you get two arms?"

Edward simply pointed to the form hidden under the blankets with a sad smile on his lips and I quirked my brow in confusion. "Alphonse," he said under his breath, "Al did this for me. And I did that for him." Again he gestured to the bed and I leaned forward to take a closer look.

Upon closer inspection, there was a very emaciated child lying in the bed. His cheekbones jutted out and dark circles pooled under his eyes. I nearly jumped out of my skin when he turned to look right at me with dark amber eyes. Fuck! I thought he was sleeping!

"Shit!" I exclaimed as I scrambled back against the side of my jar in suprise. The boy gave a small laugh and then smiled weakly. "Brother said you'd be coming," he said with the voice of the tin can. Although, his voice now lacked the metallic quality that it had before; now it flowed smooth as honey.

"I can't believe you chose to come to our side on things Envy. I never expected that. But I'm glad to add another member to our screwed up little family," Alphonse said in a breathy voice.

I couldn't hold it in; curiosity got the best of me. "What the hell happened to you…you…uh…Alphonse?" The name got stuck on my tongue. I'd only ever called him "tin can" before, and I could hardly do that when he was fleshy as ever.

"You can just call me Al, Envy. And my physical body was stuck at the gate for years, withering away. So, when my soul reattached to my body, this was the body I got. I'm honestly lucky I got back when I did. This body is so malnourished it would have died in a week more," he gave me a concerned once over, "You don't look so good yourself. Brother told me the Colonel almost torched you to death. How are we going to get _your_ body back?"

He looked straight at Edward with questioning eyes. I honestly hadn't thought of that myself. How could I get my humanoid form back without doing anything the military deemed "fishy"? At that moment the door opened and my question was answered.

Colonel Bastard was standing there, but I guess I should start calling him Mustang right? Since I'm a good guy now. Well, Colonel Mustang was standing in the doorway, his gloved fist clenched in front of him. Immediately I thought he had changed his mind and was going to try to cook me alive again, but then his hand opened to reveal something I was so glad to see. The blood red stone glinted faintly in his palm.

"Fullmetal, I had to pull a lot of strings to get this for you. You better be grateful."

Edward got up from his chair and set me by Al on the bed. I squished my face on the jar, eager to get a better view of the stone. He walked up to Mustang and took the Philosopher's stone. "Wow Mustang! How'd you manage to get this?" he exclaimed.

"Sadly enough, we've discovered that the previous government had quite a few in storage. I managed to take one without much suspicion, before they locked them all away." A look of concern crossed Mustang's face. "I know you were very adamant about not using this in the past, because it's made from human lives," he looked deeply at Edward, "Are you sure you want to use this now?"

Edward nodded is head confidently. "I learned, from Envy actually, that the souls in these stones are so far gone that they don't even know what they looked like in life, let alone remember any memories. They've become pure energy. I've come to terms with that now, and if I need souls to revive Envy, I'd rather use souls that are lost than the living."

The Colonel shook his head in agreement and watched as Edward headed back over to me on the bed. He still seemed rather uncomfortable about the thought of bringing me back. I could tell by the way he glared me down and his back stiffened. But it was the moment of truth. Edward began to uncork my jar.

"Damn! Am I glad to be out of there!" I exclaimed as I plopped down onto the soft blankets of Al's bed. I curled up next to his leg and made myself comfortable. Al grinned down at me from the head of the bed.

"For being such a murderer, you sure can be cute," he said. Rather than get riled up about the comment, I brushed it off with a "you know it" and finally gave my full attention to the stone. There was my second chance at life, right in front of me in the palm of the tiny alchemist. His hand reached down towards me and laid the stone to my side on the bed. "So…how do we do this…?" he started.

But I beat him to the punch and inhaled that stone in one gulp. I could feel the souls from the stone begin to rush through me. Invigorating. Rejuvenating. My shape shifting powers began to return and red sparks surrounded me as I reassumed my preferred form.

My long, spikey black hair fanned out around me as the transformation was complete. I glanced down to make sure everything was in order. Sexy abs? Check. Slender legs? Check. Ouroboros? Check. Amazingly stylish outfit? Check check.

"Ha ha! You do it like that. I'm back _bitches_!"

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**A/N:** I'm sorry that last line was so cheesy. I couldn't resist though! Haha ;)

In the next chapter we'll get to see what Envy's new daily life is like. And maybe some fluff?

**~MarionX**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **I apologise for the delay, but here is the next chapter! I just finished my final exams (WOO HOO). They were keeping me busy. Also, I was a little conflicted with my plot. I had this chapter written, but then thought, 'Is it too soon to rush into the sexy stuff?' After debating, I liked what I originally did, so here it is.

**WARNING**: This chapter has explicit sexual content. If you don't like that, turn back now!

Finally, I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of the characters, which makes me sad...

Enjoy! **~Marionx**

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**Chapter 3: Lust**

We spent the next couple weeks in the hospital while Al gained back his strength and did rehabilitation. It's really such a joke how fucking weak the human body is. I can heal myself in the blink of an eye and it takes the runt's brother three weeks? Pathetic humans.

The whole time the military had me on 24-hour surveillance. Edward was with me at all times when he was awake and while he slept I was kept company by some of Mustangs crew. They all had this look in their eyes when they saw me. Hatred. Distrust. I knew those emotions well. They were afraid I was going to jump them, slaughter them, or assume my unleashed form. But I just crossed my arms and looked away with contempt. I wanted a damn chance and no one seemed apt to give me one.

Edward never gave me that look though. His eyes were always warm and golden. He seemed genuinely interested in me. He would always ask me these questions about my past. Were there any things I enjoyed? Killing. What made me happy? Sadism. Did I fear anything? Well…I definitely feared pain. Even though I had died many times in my life, I could never get over the excruciating pain.

I learned about him and Al too. Never did I ever think that I'd be interested in the lives of pathetic worms, but I did say I was going to give my second chance at life a real try. They told me about their childhood, about what it was like to have a family. I'd never had a real family. My siblings, we were just partners in crime, nothing more. And Father was the mastermind behind it all, hardly a true father figure. It was fascinating to hear about. I wished I had a family.

Alphonse told me that I did have a family. That him and Edward were going to be my family from then on. They would always be there for me to fall back on. Him saying that got that burning feeling of happiness going in my chest again.

After Al was discharged from the military hospital, Edward and Al said their goodbyes to their military friends and we boarded a train to Risembool, the Elric brat's hometown. The doctors had told Al that it would be best if he took life slow for a while as his body readjusted to the physical world. Sounded boring as hell to me.

And that concludes my little story about how I got here with the damn Elric brothers. I swear I fucking regret my decision to be human sometimes. It's the dumbest shit. I'm not one of those worms. I'm Envy! A homunculus! A higher being!

And here I am washing dishes. Fuck.

"Envy! Do you seriously call that clean? That's the filthiest clean plate I have ever seen!" the girl named Winry yelled at me from across the kitchen, wrench waving dangerously in her hand.

During the one week I had been in the Rockbell house, I had already learned to fear the wrench.

"Hey O'chibi-san! Tell your damn girly friend to fuck off!" I spat at the blonde boy sitting at the table.

He bristled with anger before growing red in the face. "She's not! She's..! It's not like that! And I'M NOT A SUPER PEA SIZED RUNT!"

I burst out in a fit of laughter that rang through the room. The Chibi has such a temper, I swear. It's the funniest thing ever. As I was about to send a nasty retort flying his way, the little Elric brother came hobbling into the kitchen.

"You guys! Quit it! We're living together now so you need to suck it up and play nice. The military won't let Envy go anywhere alone, so he's stuck with us and we need to get along. Brother, he's not all that bad. He has some good points like…" Alphonse thought for a second, "He's…He's really determined!"

I smirked, "Why thank you."

"More like pig-headed and stubborn…" Edward scoffed under his breath.

I flung the plate I was washing into the sink and it shattered to pieces, then I was on the pipsqueak in the blink of an eye. My heavy fist connected with his jaw and he went skidding out of the chair. But then he started to put up a fight and we were quickly wrestling on the kitchen floor. Profanity flew through the air.

"Stop! STOP!" Al screamed as Edward and I continued to wail on each other. I could see the blood on my knuckles and it started to give me a high. My hands wrapped around the pipsqueak's throat and an evil smirk spanned my face, ear to ear.

"You know? As much as I said I wanted to be human, you humans truly are such weak pieces of sh…!"

With a resounding thunk, the wrench slammed into the back of my skull.

Red sparks flew as I fell off of Edward, my hands flying to the back of my head. I moaned in pain. Much to my pleasure though, Edward got his next. Winry brought the wrench down on his stomach, knocking the breath out of him. I couldn't help but chuckle.

"You! Homunculus! Get your ass up to your room and stay there for the rest of the night. Edward! You too! Get up to your room and stay there. You guys need to cool off. Now GO!" The fucking wrench was brandished ominously in front of my face again and I flinched.

Both Edward and I got up off the floor and made our way to the staircase. Edward brought his sleeve across his mouth and wiped the blood away as we climbed in silence. Our rooms were on separate ends of the hall and we parted ways, but not before I took the opportunity to flip him off. Asshole.

He sputtered with renewed anger and began to stomp towards me, automail leg clanking loudly on the wood floor. His fists began to clench just as a voice called from downstairs, "I CAN HEAR YOU EDWARD! DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE!"

I could see thoughts of the wrench pass over his eyes and he quickly pulled away. With a huff, he made his way to his room at the other end of the hall and slammed the door behind him.

Good riddance. I headed to my own room and flopped back on the bed, black hair fanning out behind me. My room lacked a door because they were worried I'd be secretly conspiring evil plots in there. Seemed more like I was a teenage girl who got caught sneaking boys in and had the door taken away. Ha! Funny thought.

But it's not like I had anything to hide. I technically didn't have to sleep, but I tended to do so more often these days. There was nothing better to do alone in that room.

I looked out my window and watched as the sun made it's last few seconds of descent beyond the horizon, the stars beginning to twinkle overhead. I began to think. Was this really what it was like to be human? Everything was so simple. Kind of boring honestly. Where was the onslaught of emotions? Yeah, I'd been feeling some, but not to the degree that I had expected. Why didn't I just have the balls back in the tunnel to off myself? This life was shit so far.

And the Elric brat! He was so fucking infuriating! And I really thought for a while there that we would get along fine. That was a damn lie! Everything that left his lips got me stirred up inside, itching for a fight.

But I was stuck with him. Indefinitely.

I sighed and rolled over onto my side, my left hand slowly tracing circles on my Ouroboros, my lasting symbol of inhumanity. I ran it up my thigh, over my jutting hipbone, and up to my chiseled stomach. I did love my body. I had made a fine work of art. But what for? My own pleasure? Hardly. I hadn't felt any sexual urges for over a century. They make you weak. Did I make this body for the eyes of others? Maybe…but I never had anyone particular in mind.

I closed my eyes and finally drifted off into a light sleep.

When I woke up, I immediately looked out the window, expecting to see the sun rising on another day in my personal hell. But the moon was only a little higher than it had been when I fell asleep. I groaned. It was going to be another restless night.

But then I had a brilliant idea. Everyone should be asleep right? No Winry or Al to loom over me. The little midget alchemist was all alone and defenseless in his room. No one would come to his rescue, if I played my cards right. I chuckled at my new plan for the night. I was going to terrorize Edward Elric.

I quietly rolled out of my bed and stepped lightly to my doorway. Glancing left and right down the hall I saw that the coast was clear and I began to tiptoe towards the chibi's room. I was giddy with excitement.

Edward's door was not latched shut, but opened just a hair. Once I reached the door, I paused outside, listening for any stirring within the house. In the room I could hear light pants and moans coming from the alchemist. 'The poor shorty must be having a nightmare', I thought, 'and it's about to get so much worse!'

I nudged the door open a little farther and peered into the blackness of the room. The moonlight from the window illuminated the bed.

And on the bed lay the Chibi…I gasped and quickly brought my hand over my mouth.

Edward lay prostrate on the bed, gleaming naked in the moonlight, as his hand pumped up and down his erection.

His chest sparkled with sweat and his face scrunched up sweetly with every stroke. One hand twisted a nipple and the other stroked his manhood over and over and over. Breathy moans escaped his lips at each new burst of pleasure.

All I could do was watch.

Edward began to speed up his work, tugging hard at his erection and bucking up into his own hand. His back arched. His head was flung back, golden blonde hair spreading out around him. His pace grew more sporadic and finally with a quiet grunt he came. Cum shot up and landed all over his stomach and on the white sheets as he lay panting in the afterglow.

Oh. My. GOD.

In the silence of that moment, I ran. I ran back to my room and jumped under the covers of my bed, hoping that he didn't hear me lurking outside his door. At that second I truly wished I had a door myself, the tightness in my shorts finally coming to my attention. My face ran red with a degree of blush that I didn't know I could muster. The fucking pipsqueak had turned me on and no matter how long I laid there the embarrassment between my legs wouldn't go away.

Utterly ashamed with myself, I slowly ran my own hand down my chest to the bulge in my shorts. I hissed with pleasure. I hadn't touched myself like that in years! I gripped my length through my clothes and began to stroke.

Before I knew it, I too was laid naked on the bed, not even thinking about the possibility of being found, roughing jerking my manhood. One hand covered my mouth, I knew I was loud, but it didn't stop the little embarrassing sounds from ringing out.

I panted and grunted and moaned, my hand teasing my sack before going back to my painfully hard erection. I fucked my hand faster and faster. I don't know what happened, but suddenly I thought of the chibi orgasming all over himself and his bed and I came too.

I came so hard. My back arched high off the bed as a stream of cum shot up to my chest. Waves of pleasure washed over me and I unintentionally moaned.

"Ahhhnn! Fuck! Edward!"

…Shit.

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**A/N: **And the inner conflict begins...Sorry about the cliffhanger. I'll try to have the next one up soon! ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Time for the next chapter. Airplane delays do miracles for the urge to write. Haha

As always, I do not own any of the characters from Fullmetal Alchemist and never will.

Read on! **~Marionx**

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**Chapter 4: Confusion**

My inhuman blood ran cold as I heard my own voice ring out through the house.

"Ahhhnnn…fuck! Edward!"

My nerves shot my afterglow. Oh my god everyone in the entire house just fucking heard me orgasm. I immediately regretted everything. I glanced nervously down at my stomach and chest and quickly tried to find a way to destroy the evidence of my pleasure. Homunculi don't feel pleasure. Besides, I'm Envy not Lust!

Unthinking, I grabbed my sheets and swiped at my mess, dirtying the bed. Now not only would I have to explain my random midnight outburst but also the crusty bed sheets. I'll grudgingly admit I'm not always the smartest.

But that was the last thing on my mind at that moment. I laid like a statue in my bed, a cold sweat dripping all over my body, as I listened to the sounds within the house with bated breath. I expected someone to come bursting through the doorway at any second, demanding to know what I was up to. Seeing the look of confused pleasure and fear on my face…

But no one came.

After about an hour of waiting for the largest embarrassment of my life, nothing happened. I certainly didn't sleep again for the rest of the night though. All I could think about was how I should have just fucking killed myself when I had the chance. I'd felt this…_lust _before many years ago and almost killed myself then too. Lust really was a powerful sin that could easily slip into your life. But nothing other than Envy was ever supposed to be a part of mine. I guess I've always been doomed to rot in the filth of humanity. As my thoughts battled in my head, I stared with wide, tormented eyes at my ceiling until the sun began to rise on the next day.

I thought I could brush the whole night off and forget it ever happened, I'd done that in the past with other things. But the more I tried to forget, the more I saw Edward Elric moaning in pleasure. I couldn't fight off the new beast that was growing inside of me. Human emotions tore me apart. I didn't know if I was obsessed or embarrassed. What the fuck was going on inside my head?!

When the smell of bacon and eggs cooking on the stove reached my nostrils in the light of daybreak, my nervousness and embarrassment reached an all time high. I had to go face those worms downstairs. I had to go act like nothing was happening to me, all the while graphic sexual situations played out in my head. Somehow or another, the door to my sexuality had swung open and I couldn't keep it shut. I was so fucked…

"ENVY! COME GET BREAKFAST!" Winry called from downstairs.

I began to fight an internal battle with myself. I should just run away. I knew plenty of good hiding places. I could even leave the country and get far out of the military's reach, never to be bothered again. But could I, Envy, run away? I'd never run away from a fight before! Well, minus Mustang's "BBQ Envy" fest a couple weeks previous, but that was different. I'm a homunculus, not a fucking human! What was I so scared of?

I bravely rose from my bed and strutted my way to the staircase, noting that the pipsqueak's door was still shut. Good. But the farther I made my way down the stairs, the more I wanted to hightail it out of there. '_Everyone_ heard you,' my mind reminded me. Everyone, including Winry and Al.

When I reached the kitchen, I paused in the doorway, taking in the room. Winry stood with her back to me at the stove and Alphonse sat in one of the wooden chairs at the end of the table. Edward always woke up late; according to Al. Boy was I glad he did. Dealing with him was a hurdle I hadn't built myself up to jump just yet. Al looked right at me then and smiled.

"You sleep well Envy?"

My body went rigid. "Uhh...umm.." I stammered.

'Yeah I had a great night's sleep Alphonse! The best part was watching your big brother masturbate and now I'm spiraling into a horny oblivion!' was what I thought. What I finally said was, "Yeah…I guess."

I took my seat at the table, propped my elbows up, and threw my head into my hands like the pissy bastard I always tended to be. 'Just be Envy. Just be me,' I chanted in my head. I couldn't let the worms see that something was bothering me. They would pry endlessly until they got their answers; I knew they would.

"So what's on the lame ass agenda for today? More housework? Reading books? Ohhh please don't tell me it's gardening! Anything but that!" I chided in my normal tone of voice. I really didn't like gardening. It makes you sweaty and filthy. Blegh.

Al took my statement as a joke and giggled. "Brother said that he was planning on heading into the neighboring town for something today. Maybe he'll take you with him. Could be fun. I wish I could get out of the house more."

"You need to focus on gaining your strength back right now Al. You can go off looking for stray cats when you are well again," said a voice from behind me.

My blood ran cold. Edward Elric just walked into the room and he sat his ass down in the chair right next to mine. A small blush crept uncharacteristically up to my cheeks. Luckily, my thick black mane shielded my face. But then he turned his attention to me.

"Hey Envy? Did you need something last night? I swear I thought I heard you call my name." I stared dumbfounded at the look of genuine curiosity on his face.

"I don't know what you're talking about pipsqueak," I managed to get out with zero tremor in my voice. But in my head said, 'Yeah I did need something last night. I needed my dick in you, pumping in and out, in and out…'

I sucked in a sharp breath at my own thoughts and silently cursed as I felt a twitch between my legs. Not now, please not now.

"Really? I swear I heard it," Edward said as he scratched his head. Al took that moment to chime in (fuck him), "No, you're right brother. I heard him too. It was pretty loud. He woke me up. Is something wrong Envy?"

I really blushed then and I swear everyone at the table could see it. They all stared intently at my face as they awaited my response. I wrung out my hands and picked at my fingers trying to come up with a logical answer, but in reality, who needed a logical answer? So I stuck to my usual.

"Fuck you! Nothing is wrong damn it! Stay out of my fucking business!" I yelled at the two blonde brothers.

Winry chose to respond, "You know, we really need to do something about that dirty mouth of yours. Every other word that leaves it is profanity. If you're going to be human, try to speak with some dignity."

I glared in her direction and stood up quickly from the table. The legs of my chair screeched loudly against the floor. "FUCK YOU TOO!" I stormed from the room in a huff and practically ran into the sitting room a few rooms over. I could still hear them though the walls.

"Wow. He sure can blow up."

"Maybe something really is wrong."

"Brother, you should go check on him…"

"ME?! Why me?! You started this crap Al!"

"Well you _did_ bring up the subject brother!"

"I was just curious damn it!"

"Ed, shut up and go check on him. He's technically your responsibility."

"…fine."

I heard footsteps approach the room and I brought my knees up to my chest as I crouched on the couch, somewhat shielding myself. Why was I having these fucking sick thoughts about the Elric brat? I just wished they would go away. I wanted to go back to being the evil bastard I was, not the horny, emotional mess I was becoming. I steeled myself awaiting Edward's arrival. I would fight him if I had too. There was going to be no confessing for this homunculus, no sir.

As he rounded the corner though, my thoughts fell off the cliff they were precariously perching on. I never got a good look at him in the kitchen, but I certainly got a good look at him now. And I looked hard.

Edward still was in his sleeping clothes, which consisted of a white t-shirt that clung to his form in all the right places and a pair of light blue boxer shorts. Those also clung in all the right places. I found myself openly staring at his crotch longer than I would have liked. But then I quickly snapped my gaze up to his face. His long hair was yet to be pulled back and hung elegantly on either side of his face. His trademark antenna was already perky. Then I looked at his eyes. They were deep and golden as usual. They drew me in.

In my stupor, I didn't even notice as he made his way over to the couch. When he sat down next to me I jolted up a little, shocked out of my sick little fantasy. Reality came back to me and slammed me in the face. Edward was looking at me. He was talking.

"Envy… what is the problem? You need to stop stomping off from situations like an idiot and learn to face them. Humans at least have the dignity to deal with shit."

He contemplated what he said for a moment and furrowed his brow.

"Well, I take that back. Humans are pretty bad about facing their problems head on, but you need to stop being so angry all the time! We didn't do anything wrong! But apparently you think so… so what the hell is up?"

I stared transfixed at his lips as they formed those words. They were thin, but still plump enough to look kissable and were a light rose color. My breath caught in my throat. I was thinking about kissing the pipsqueak? If I kissed him I could make his lips even redder…

He waved a hand in front of my face and I shot back to reality again. I really was losing it. A permanent blush tinted my originally pale cheeks. He looked very concerned.

"Hey! Palm tree! You listen to a single thing Ī said?"

I sputtered for a second while I tried to process what he said. Envy…. Idiot… Angry….PALM TREE!?

"How DARE you?! I'm not a fucking palm tree, you ultra shrimpy chibi bitch!" I felt like I was foaming at the mouth. No one calls me ugly and _no one _calls me a palm tree.

Edward was getting pretty heated himself. "There you go again! _Everything_ sets you off. Everything gets you defensive. Get off your damn high horse and listen to me when I am trying to HELP YOU!" he yelled in my face.

Damn. He was close to my face.

I blushed in the pregnant silence that followed his rant. God, what was my fucking problem?

"Now… something we did made you upset. Did you want to talk about it or what?" The situation had calmed down significantly. Still didn't mean I was confessing to anything.

I looked him dead in the eye and pushed down all my underlying thoughts, "There is nothing to fucking talk about pipsqueak. I already told you there wasn't. So buzz off." I gave him the most sickeningly sweet grin I could muster with that last line. Beautiful.

He let out a lengthy sigh and dropped his head a bit. Yeah, that's right shrimp. You will never break my shell. Wallow in your misery.

"Envy, I'll make a deal with you, equivalent exchange."

My shit eating grin fell off my face. What was he playing at? He began to speak again.

"I can tell that something is really bothering you and I _did_ hear you say my name last night," I tensed visibly, "so here is the deal. I'm about to make a day trip into the neighboring town. You have two options: either you tell me right now what is going on in your head and get it off your chest or you come with me into town and let me buy you some real people clothes and I forget this ever happened."

Huh?

Give up my perfectly sexy outfit? I noticed Edward look disdainfully down my body at my skin tight clothes. I had worn that outfit for over a hundred years and it worked just fine! But… Greed _did _always bother me about how ugly it was. Although, I could care less about that jack ass. But there was no way I could tell Edward that I was lusting after his body. No way in hell.

God I'm going downhill fast.

"Ok Pipsqueak," he raised his fist in the air, prepared for a rant, "Uh…I mean Edward. I'll go with you to town and try out some 'real people clothes' and you fucking stay out of my business, deal?"

"Deal. Now come on, I'm getting dressed and we're leaving now so we can make it back before dark. I have a lot of errands to run."

Edward rose up from the couch and made his way to the door. Fucking pipsqueak just always has to get his way. I grumbled to myself and stared after him as he left the room. My gaze wandered down to his ass, which his boxer shorts also clung to quite tightly. Shit man, if I just got up, took four steps, and grabbed it in my hand…

Oh my god I'm hopeless.

Some homunculus I am. I walked out to the porch on waited for Edward by the car. Today could definitely be hell.


End file.
